Please note: The contents of today’s blog are meant primarily for those with levels of stress and anxiety that do not require medical attention. Please consult with your health care provider before implementation of the suggestions on this page if you suffer from mental illness, and know that we empathize with you and you not alone.
Earlier this week, one of my Facebook contacts shared this great article from the Harvard Business Review about WHY stress and anxiety can be triggered in times of uncertainty, and what you can do to start managing it on the emotional side.
Even if you don’t have trauma in your past, many of us feel grumpy, short-tempered, and on edge.
We may think it is because of financial or health worries.
But in reality, much of it is because we are grieving the loss of our previous version of “normal”, and haven’t totally come to grips with that yet.
Have you verbally lashed out at a child, spouse, or well-meaning coworker since you started working from home?
I have too (most recently it was over who was doing the dishes), and instantly regretted it. That is absolutely NOT the way I want to show up for those I care about most. It is one way of coping with grief…….but it’s surely not a way of managing it with compassion for yourself and others.
It’s hard to show up as your best self in the face of uncertainty, and I want you to know that you are not alone in those feelings. It’s completely normal.
The question becomes: What can we do about it, especially knowing that those feelings aren’t going to conveniently “go away”? You might try to ignore them (thus leading to the verbal lashing out I just talked about), especially if you’re trying to be productive at work while working remotely.
You can’t control your feelings. But, you can manage how you express them by focusing on things you can control.
Here are the top five I have used that are backed by science to work.
1. KEEP A ROUTINE
If you’re anything like me, your current day is far from your pre-coronavirus routine. You might have a spouse or partner working from home, roommates, and/or kids home from school.
Lynn Bufda, a clinical psychologist and senior director for practice, research, and policy at the American Psychological Association, shares in THIS article why routine is so important to managing stress and anxiety when much of your life has been disrupted:
"Finding things and setting up a structure around the things that keep you going is really critical. . . . If you've got a routine, it keeps you focused on what you need to do and you don't get stuck in your worries….This is especially important for those with a mental illness such as bipolar disorder or depression."
Last week’s blog discussed the importance of creating and communicating a new written work schedule as you are making the transition to working from home, including what to put in that schedule. Now, we’re going to expand that schedule to include ALL of your routines, like rituals before and after work. Here are some examples:
Morning routine. I have written before about how much I love Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning routine. I intend to focus an entire future blog on this topic, but for now, you can either check out The Miracle Morning book, or this seven-minute YouTube video overview to get you started.
Transition to start work. You no longer have that commute to get mentally prepared for work. What new ritual will you start to tell your brain it’s time? For me…..it’s coffee and work-day planning. For others, it might be getting dressed for work or taking a quick walk around the block for exercise, as you “go” to work.
Transition to end of work.
Uninterrupted time block to get your most important work done. According to psychologist Ron Friedman, the first three hours of your day are your most precious for focus (read more on why and how to optimize those hours in this Harvard Business Review article HERE).
Self-care time (see also #2). What do you need to thrive in this new environment? A parent might need designated alone time, while a formerly active athlete may crave extra exercise time. Make sure what you need is included in your schedule.
Did you know?
Incorporating frequent breaks into your daily work routine improves focus and creativity. Here's 10 ideas for breaks your can take, in 5 minutes or less.
2. FOCUS ON SELF-CARE BASICS
There have been many studies showing that women often put others ahead of themselves and that some women see “self-care” as selfish. However, I would argue that if you don’t take care of yourself, in the best case scenario you won’t have the energy to take care of those around you.
Worst case? You’ll have compromised your own immune system, which will lead to the exact illness you are trying to avoid.
That’s why right now is the perfect time of focus on the basics of self-care: sleep, hydration, and movement.
Sleep
Most people need 7-9 hours of sleep per night. According to Matthew Walker, Ph.D., sleep expert, and author of “Why We Sleep,” two-thirds of adults in developed countries fail to get enough sleep, demolishing their own immune systems and more than doubling their risks for diseases like cancer. Too little sleep does everything from mute the hormones that signal you are full (leading to over-eating), to causing emotional irrationality, forgetfulness, and reducing your performance at work. That’s why it is imperative to prioritize sleep right now.
Are you getting enough sleep?
Too little sleep is linked to a compromised immune system, forgetfulness, lack of focus and more. Most adults need 7-9 hours per night.
Hydration
You might be surprised that “hydration”, rather than “nutrition” is second on the list. I think we all know that nutrition is important, but in times of stress, AND considering that food is constantly around if you are working from home, it can be very challenging to eat healthy, especially if you weren’t already doing it.
That’s one of many reasons why hydration is initially a better focus for starting healthy habits. Psychologically, it’s much less daunting and thus generally more effective to add something to your routine (like drinking water) than it is to restrict something (like food).
Water in your body is 60% of your body weight. Water is accessible to most in the US and doesn’t cost extra. That makes it easy to make sure you get the amount of water you need for optimized health. The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine determined that a minimum adequate daily fluid intake is:
About 15.5 cups of fluids for men
About 11.5 cups of fluids a day for women
Some people need less and others need more, and the above doesn’t cover water loss due to exercise. According to the Mayo clinic, people who are drinking enough for them rarely feel thirsty and have colorless/light yellow urine. For me personally, I’ve found that I need to drink closer to a gallon of water a day (16 cups) to function optimally.
As a bonus, when I drink that much water I don’t feel hungry as often, which helps on the nutrition side too.
Pro tip
Keep a water bottle at your work station to make sure you keep hydrated. Here’s a picture of mine, which is a fixture on my desk.
Movement
I’m not proposing that you start marathon training or a Cross-Fit regimen right now (If that’s your jive, great, but it’s unrealistic for most to ‘jump into it’, and I’d recommend avoid any new exercise regimen that could cause you to end up at the doctor’s office for an injury).
However, our bodies are made to move. Start simple if you don’t already have movement incorporated into your routine. Go on a walk outdoors. Taking frequent movement breaks during the day, which has been shown to keep energy levels high and improve your focus (you can read about the science of “why” frequent breaks help HERE). The important part is to take breaks, get up from your computer, and MOVE!
3. CONNECT WITH OTHERS
It can be easy to feel isolated when you’re working from home. We covered check-ins with managers and coworkers in THIS blog, but what about for friends and family?
First, in some areas of the country, you CAN go outside your home and connect with others out of doors (of course staying the requisite 6 feet away). This is the case – at least at the moment – where I live, and I’ve found you can carry on conversations with neighbors quite well at this distance.
On the virtual side, a phone call is great, but I highly recommend video calls as a method of virtual face-to-face connection. There are numerous tools available for free. One of my personal favorites is Zoom, which I’ve used for everything from work to committee meetings to family meetings. Free accounts work for up to a forty-minute meeting with up to 100 participants.
I have a large family (I’m the oldest of 8), and we’ve now set up a weekly Sunday night family Zoom call to connect with my siblings and parents. My kids are even using it – including the 5-year-old! - to connect with their elementary school classmates while they are at home. Zoom really is extremely easy to use and works on mobile if you download the app, so there is no excuse not to see your friends and family even if you’re stuck at home! (For the record: I don’t get anything for promoting Zoom, I just really believe in their product.)
4. LEARN SOMETHING
You might find that you have some extra time on your hands now that you no longer need to commute. That means it is the perfect time to pick up a new skill, take an online class you’ve been putting off, or start a yoga practice in that extra time.
Learning something new also takes our minds off our worries. It builds confidence and stimulates creativity. A new hobby brings us joy and helps us stay productive. Need ideas? Here’s a link to 22 hobbies perfect for working by yourself.
Virtual learning can make you more marketable.
Here’s some ideas to get you started.
5. HELP SOMEONE
Want more happiness in your day? Help someone.
A team of sociologists tracked 2000 people over a 5-year period and found that Americans who described themselves as “very happy” volunteered at least 5.8 hours per month. Helping someone has been shown to lower blood pressure and may help with chronic pain.
If you are in need of ideas, here’s a couple of ways you can help someone without leaving your house:
Mentor another engineer (remotely).
Go grocery shopping for an elderly neighbor by setting up their account and ordering for them in one of the online grocery delivery apps.
Write a letter or send a card to an elderly relative living alone.
Donate money to a non-profit.
Try one of the established virtual volunteer programs, like this one through the United Nations, or becoming a digital advocate of the Red Cross.
Make helping someone a family project.
Enlist the kids can help make cards for elderly relatives who live alone.
No kids? Write a letter instead.
How are you managing stress during this time? Comment below!
