On Friday, March 13th, while boarding a plane with my children and husband on the way back from vacation, I received a text that would mark the beginning of my (and millions of others’) new reality:
“…all Pennsylvania schools will be closed for the next two weeks, starting Monday, due to the coronavirus.”
As those weeks turned into months, a new reality set in.
Everywhere I turned, there was another crisis.
One of my brothers in the Bay Area and a sister in Oregon were dealing with apocalyptic-looking skies and health-impacting poor air quality due to the fires.
A friend in Houston had to reschedule our virtual meet-up because her child’s daycare was closing early due to flooding.
The black and brown women in my life were trying to come to grips with the senseless murders of those who look like them, sharing their frustration with me of their coworkers who didn’t even acknowledge that pain.
The deaths of hundreds of thousands due to the COVID, and the fear that creeps in every time you see a loved one sneeze, cough, or indicate they otherwise feel unwell.
Turn on the news, and you are figuratively slapped upside the head with story after story after story that reinforces that the world is falling apart.
In politics, someone’s fighting or someone’s lying all the time… and as a resident of a swing state (Pennsylvania), I couldn’t wait to get to Election Day, JUST so the political ads and mailings would stop.
There has been so much pain this year.
Combined, it’s enough to make us bury our heads in our hands in despair, throw out the rest of the year as a loss, and curl up on the couch watching NetFlix.
I’ve had those moments (and days and weeks) like that too.
But here’s what is very interesting about times where pain and fear and negativity are all over: If previous history is any guide, where there is uncertainty there is also a great opportunity to make a difference and huge opportunities to serve. Civil rights movements have flourished in past times of upheaval.
Now-household-name companies have been started. For a few quick examples: Netflix, Microsoft, Trader Joe’s, and Airbnb were all started in a recession.
We’ve got just under two months left in the year. What are you going to choose to do with the time you’ve been given?
Kick your brain from survival state into executive state
Worrying about what is going on in the world is exhausting.
Rather than trying to pretend those worries don’t exist, worry mindfully so that worries aren’t constantly shutting you down. In this recent New York Times article, scheduling 10–15 minutes of time to write down those worries during the day can halt the cycle.
This allows you to be more mindfully present during the rest of your day.
It’s also important to understand that from a neuroscience standpoint, you’re either operating in your survival brain or in your executive brain state at any given in point in time.
In his book, Positive Intelligence, author Shirzad Chamine notes that most people are using their survival brain 80% of the time. When you are using your survival brain, you are stressed and fearful.
How we react to that stress is different for everyone. For me, it shows up as a desire to tune out the world, whether it be through Netflix, mindlessly scrolling social media, overeating, drinking too much, or working to exhaustion.
With that narrow focus of survival, we completely miss opportunities — for our careers, for our businesses, for our lives — even if they are right in front of us.
When we’re using our executive state, we tap into our inner wisdom and creativity. We are able to be innovative and make good short and long-term decisions that leave us with less stress, more joy, and more abundance in our lives.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’d love to do this, but the timing’s not right,” you are in a survival state.
Change that thought to “I’d love to do this….and what can I do right now to get started?” you get a completely different outcome because you’ve nudged your executive brain into gear.
Four ways to kick start your executive functions so you can end 2020 on a high note
Accessing the brain functions that free you from the mind-numbing survival state isn’t hard in theory, but can be hard in practice.
Here are 4 things I do to kick myself into executive function, each of which takes less than 15 minutes.
1. Shore up your self-care
As a mom with 2 elementary and 1 middle school kiddos in virtual schooling who is running a business, I get busy.
Even though I logically know that self-care is important, there are still many days where it slips through the cracks in a way it never did pre-COVID. It’s usually not realistic that I’m going to get an hour uninterrupted time to exercise and get in that peaceful morning routine.
Instead, I’ll pick one thing I can do in 15–30 minutes or less that makes me feel centered or calm, usually done immediately after the kiddos are settled into virtual school for the day and before I dive into work.
I use that time for a quick walk, meditation, or journaling session amd have found that the more busy or unmotivated I am feeling, the more I need that time.
2. Start (or Reinvigorate) a Gratitude Practice
It can be hard to find joy and pleasure in daily rituals of life when you’re in survival mode, constantly busy, and simply going for the next achievement (a common challenge for myself and many high-achievers).
Feelings of sincere gratitude instantly kicks your brain into executive mode. This study noted that simply writing thank you notes, improved mental states and greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude, a brain area associated with learning and decision making.
Reap those benefits by writing a thank you note, text, or email of your own or start a gratitude practice by journaling about 3 things you are grateful for.
If you are having trouble getting started? That’s evidence you REALLY need this practice. Try writing down ANYTHING you are grateful for no matter how small.
Here are some ideas to get your started: your health, your family, a beautiful sunset, a virtual meeting with a friend, or a coworker who helped you on a project. Right now, I am grateful that my 1st grader was able to get herself on her Google Meet call for school without help (like I said, it’s the small things!).
Having trouble thinking of anything? Close your eyes and imagine a moment in time when you felt grateful. Put yourself in that moment. What did each of your senses experience? How did you feel?
3. Set a goal
Pick a reasonable goal that would make you feel like you accomplished something if completed by the end of 2020.
For me, setting goals that allow me to grow in skill AND serve other people get me out of my own head and get me moving in the right direction. Learning something new (lots of free or low cost courses are available online can be completed this year!).
Maybe you want to write a book or start a business. Two months is plenty of time to make a plan and start gathering resources and research to do either so that you can jump into 2021 with a bang.
4. Block off daily time on your calendar to do one small thing to move you towards that goal
I used to think the only way to get things done was to block off huge chunks of times (4 hours +) to do so.
Then, I had kids, and when I started writing my book, I realized that it was never going to get done if I waited until I had huge chunks of time available.
So I wrote in whatever time I had available. 30 minutes here, 30 minutes there…that time adds up really quickly to real progress, especially when it becomes a habit.
Give yourself a little bit of time every day on your goal. Make your new mantra “Progress not perfection” and feel the momentum build towards your goal.
