I was talking to an engineer the other day who told me she couldn’t wait for 2020 to be over. When I asked her if there was anything at all that happened to her recently that was good, I was met with a befuddled look and the following response:

“This year was just….terrible. Nothing good has happened and I can’t wait to get to January 1st.”

This year has been really hard and all of us can relate to feeling despair at times.

But you can’t conquer hard by hoping everything will be better January 1, or even when the COVID-19 vaccine is readily available.

You can’t grieve the people and experiences lost by stuffing those emotions down and focusing only on the future.

I know what it’s like to focus so much on the future that you can’t find joy in the now.

It’s a problem many high-achievers struggle with, and it robs us of our ability to be mindful, to be present, and to be resilient in our lives and careers.

Ironically, it blinds us to both current and future opportunities, because when we can only see “how bad this year was been”, we are stuck in a negative vortex of tunnel vision and keeps us from leading ourselves and others toward a better future.

The problem with being stuck in neutral until “things get back to normal” is that you’re playing an internal comparison came you can’t win because “now” always is worse than what you remember from yesterday or tomorrow.

Instead, see the facts for what they are right now, and instead of dwelling on all the things you CAN’T do right now, ask yourself instead:

“How can I reimagine my dreams and goals so I can make them real in 2021, regardless of external world circumstances?”

Try this exercise for an empowering reset

This exercise that has helped me (and the engineer referenced above) quickly go from feeling miserable in the present and powerless for what the future holds, to feeling empowered in the present and hopeful for the future.

Use in 2020 and anytime you might be tempted to throw in the towel on a bad day, week, month, or year.

All you need is yourself, 15 minutes, a piece of paper and something to write with:

Close your eyes and take 5 slow, deep breaths in and out.
With your eyes still closed, wiggle your toes and feel the ground beneath you. Focus on the sensation of each toe touching the ground.
Take 5 more deep breaths in and out.
Now, open your eyes and write down 3 things you are grateful for, no matter how small.
Write an activity you are looking forward to that can be done in 15 minutes or less tomorrow.
Write something – preferably a big dream - you are looking forward to doing in the next year that you also have 100% control over.

(Hint: Things “going back to normal” isn’t something you have control over... Getting the planning going for your dream vacation, getting started on the book you’ve always meant to write, taking an online course to enhance your skills, starting a side business, having a conversation you’ve been putting off with your boss…..ALL those things you can control)

7. Finally, write one thing you can do by this time next week (preferably in 1 hour or less) to get started on what you wrote down in #6.

Rinse and repeat weekly (or better yet daily once you’ve gotten into a weekly habit).

You don’t have to wait until things are better.

You don’t have to set an arbitrary deadline like January 1 as “the day things will be better.”

You can make them so anytime you choose.

See you in the New Year 😊.