Have you ever felt like a fraud at work, like you don’t belong in the room?
You aren’t alone. Research has found that 75% of executive women and almost 80% of women in engineering and technology have reported feeling similarly.
I have felt it too. During construction site visits, right before an important meeting or presentation, when applying for a new role, and even as I was writing She Engineers.
Did it get better with more experience? In some cases, yes.
Has it ever gone away completely? No, and I’ve found that to be true for the women I’ve interviewed in leadership positions as well. Every single woman I’ve interviewed who is a leader in male-dominated field has felt like a fraud at various points (past and present) in their career.
The name for this phenomenon is imposter syndrome, and it turns out it’s incredibly common in high achieving women, as I shared in THIS prior blog. Check that out if you want more details on what imposter syndrome is, why it’s so prevalent for women specifically (definitely NOT your fault you’ve experienced this!) and six long-term fixes or habits you can use to overcome it, given steady implementation of those techniques over time.
Sometimes, however, you need something that works in-the-moment, providing just enough of a confidence boost to allow you to empower yourself in the moment when imposter syndrome strikes so you can move forward and show up as the aspiring or current leader that you are.
That’s the subject of today’s blog (and the video above). Empower yourself to ignore the voice inside your head that tells you “I’m not good enough” with these three strategies.
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What is imposter syndrome and how do I know if I’m dealing with it?
I detailed in THIS previous blog what imposter syndrome. So, here, I’ll just share a quick overview with this quote from She Engineers:
"Imposter syndrome is a feeling that you don't belong and don't deserve to be here. Many women of notable achievement also have high levels of self-doubt, even when there is substantial evidence to the contrary…What we call imposter syndrome often reflects the reality of an environment that tells marginalized groups that we shouldn't be confident, that our skills aren't enough, that we won't succeed—and when we do, our accomplishments won't even be attributed to us. Yet imposter syndrome is treated as a personal problem to be overcome, a distortion in processing rather than a realistic reflection of [work environments]."
Imposter syndrome causes us to question our own worth and ability to be successful at work.
That in turn makes us more likely to show up at work as a victim of our circumstances, instead of showing up as the boss woman who is the CEO of their career path.
If you’ve asked yourself any of the 6 following cited by Dr. Valerie Young, an internationally-known expert on imposter syndrome in her book, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, you’ve experienced it too:
Do you chalk your success up to luck, timing, or computer error?
Do you believe ‘If I can do it, anybody can?’
Do you agonize over the smallest flaws in your work?
Are you crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your ineptness
When you succeed, do you secretly feel like you fooled them again?
Do you worry that it’s only a matter of time before you are found out?”
Imposter syndrome holds you back, because it keeps you from going after the success you deserve. It keeps from negotiating your salary, getting promoted, and even speaking up in a meeting.
I wish I could tell you imposter syndrome goes away with experience, but the reality is that isn’t the case. It will rear it’s head in situations where you are stretching yourself, no matter what career stage you’re in.
Expecting imposter syndrome to go away is a big mistake I see professional women made often. If you wait until you feel confident enough to move forward with those big (and small) aspirations of yours, it likely will never happen.
Instead, adopt a bias towards action. Like fear in general, doing something, even and ESPECIALLY when you feel like you don’t belong, is key to minimizing imposter syndrome down the road.
Three strategies that keep you moving forward even when you feel like a fraud
Here are three in-the-moment fixes for imposter syndrome that will keep you moving forward even when you feel like a fraud so you can show up as a leader even when you don’t feel like one.
Those three things are:
#1 Understand your imposter syndrome triggers.
The single most common trigger is new situations. Examples include doing anything for the first time, a promotion, going out on a construction site or on the plant floor, a new job, negotiating, dealing with conflict, and public speaking.
When you know it’s coming; it’s easier to prepare, but first you have to pay attention to what triggers you.
#2 Scenario-strategize new situations with feedback in two steps.
You know what triggers you. Now, decide what you will do the moment imposter syndrome is triggered. Practice taking a deep breath, telling yourself, “that’s just my imposter talking,” and then asking yourself, “How can I best serve or show up in this situation? What is the outcome I want in this moment?”
What this does is it focuses your awareness of the moment, and kicks your brain out of rumination mode where imposter syndrome can thrive, into problem-solving mode. It’s in problem-solving mode where your inner career-rocking boss lives.
The second part of strategizing scenarios is role-playing those situations. There is no substitute for practicing how you will speak up and react in uncomfortable, difficult, and conflict situations, especially if you can do it in a safe environment with immediate peer or mentor feedback.
One example is let’s say you are giving an important presentation. Practice what you’ll say - out loud. Ask someone to watch you practice and give you feedback. Anticipate why someone may not buy in to your proposal and practice addressing those concerns out loud. Every time you practice, you build your confidence and minimize feeling like an imposter.
There’s a huge and notable difference between “knowing” something and actually being able to put it into practice. I’ve found with my clients that practice is key; without that role-play experience you’re almost guaranteeing that you will experience low confidence and imposter syndrome.
#3 Increase your energy level.
When you walk into a new situation, we have a tendency to shrink in on ourselves and to exude low energy, which is the exact opposite of the executive presence aspiring and current leaders project.
You can boost your confidence and minimize imposter syndrome immediately before going into a situation by raising your internal energy level.
For my athletes, it’s similar to getting pumped up before a big game, race, or workout.
Here are several ways to do this immediately before a potentially triggering event:
Take a 5-minute break to listen to upbeat songs and move around before going in (movement has been shown to increase energy and confidence).
Take a 5-minute break to meditate.
Write down your intention before going into one of these situations. How do you want to show up? What outcome do you want from this interaction?
Power poses don’t work for everyone, but they have worked for me in some situations (I run to the ladies' room and do them before a big presentation, for example). Try them and see if they work for you, HERE’s a great article on them and HERE’s a video explaining why they work.
Start a brag file that includes any messages you’ve received saying thank you or that you’ve done an excellent job. Spend a few minutes looking at that file right before a potentially triggering event.
We love comments and respond to all of them. Let us know:
· What situation have you recently experienced imposter syndrome in?
· Which of our three tips are you going to incorporate first?
